Public-domain source text

An Absurdum

by Ambrose Bierce

From Standard Ebooks · standardebooks/ambrose-bierce_poetry

Congressman Rixey, you’re a statesman⁠—you Yourself will hardly say that you are not; And yet I know not what you hope to do For those Confederates whose luckless lot Is to have lived through storms of Yankee shot To this our day. They draw their breath, indeed, But from the Government no cent of what So admirably serves your nobler need. You work for it? Why, that all cavilers concede.
You’d call these “rebels” to the Soldiers’ Homes On equal terms with persons whom they fought! Whereat the “truly loyal” statesman foams At the loud mouth of him. But that is naught⁠— He foams, not for he must, but for he ought: For the Poll-patriot’s emotions flow By taking (with much else of value) thought. His feelings, if he have them, never blow His cooling coal of anger to a brighter glow.
Well, well, sir, even the Devil may be right Through ignorance or accident. ’Tis said We’re sometimes dazzled with too great a light. In which the blind, with customary tread (And by a small, unblinking puppy led) Walk prosperous courses to appointed goals. And so your critics, though without a head Among them⁠—eyeless, therefore, as the moles⁠— May wiser be than you, who damn their little souls!
If of two aged Southern gentlemen Of equal need and worth, the one that tried To cook the country’s goose⁠—or say its hen⁠— Be blest with all the cheer we can provide, And which to t’other sternly is denied Because he didn’t, it will seem right queer. The gods are logical and may deride. Respect the Southern veteran, but fear The laughter of Olympus sounding loud and clear!

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