Among the notables one day that came
To see the President was one whose name
Was known from Puerto Rico to Luzon,
Although it wasn’t Smith nor even John.
Renowned in field and council too, for he
Had tilled the soil and been a school trustee.
Occasionally, just to pass the time,
He worked at patriotism and scowled at crime;
Went up and down the land denouncing those
Who loved him little as the country’s foes;
Predicted famine when they scorned his story,
And for the ensuing harvest claimed the glory.
His name indeed was famous, but because
My memory’s weak I know not what it was.
The President he came that day to see
Was as illustrious in his way as he.
His name a household word—that is to say
Men damned him roundly to begin the day,
Deplored him in the fireside’s rosy light
And grunted disesteem throughout the night.
Not all men—some, the sons of pious mothers,
Prayed for him daily as upon him others.
Sleek, snug, self-righteous, cunning as a rat,
A fish in fervor and in faith a cat,
Obscure by nature, he had ne’er been great
If Fortune had not kicked him into state.
His name? Go ask Posterity, not me—
From words opprobrious my page is free.
So they were married—no I mean they met;
For aught I know they are in session yet,
There in the White House, for each swore the place
Belonged to him by God’s abounding grace.
But, O, may He take measures to prevent
If both at once they would be President.