The Genesis of Crime by Ambrose Bierce

God said, “Let there be Crime,” and the command Brought Satan, leading Stoneman by the hand. “Why, that’s Stupidity, not Crime,” said God⁠— “Bring what I ordered.” Satan with a nod Replied, “This is one element⁠—when I The other ⁠—Opportunity⁠—supply In just equivalent, the two’ll affine And in a chemical embrace combine And Crime result⁠—for Crime can only be Stupiditate of Opportunity.” So leaving Stoneman (not as yet endowed With soul) in special session on a cloud, Nick to his sooty laboratory went, Returning soon with t’other element. “Here’s Opportunity,” he said, and put Pen, ink, and paper down at Stoneman’s foot. He seized them⁠—Heaven was filled with fires and thunders, And Crime was added to Creation’s wonders!